How to Write a Counselling Blog That Builds Trust (Without Sounding Like a Lecture)

Transcript of episode 210: How to Write a Counselling Blog That Builds Trust (Without Sounding Like a Lecture)
If you prefer to read or want to skim through what I've talked about, here’s the full transcript below.

Have you ever read back a blog that you've written and thought, well, God, this sounds like I'm about to give a PowerPoint presentation, not connect with a real person? Well, if so, you are not the only one. And in this episode, we're gonna talk about how to sound more like you and less like a textbook.

Welcome to the Grow Your Private Practice Show. I'm Jane Travis, and I help counsellors and therapists to grow their practices with calm, consistent marketing – and with a special love of all things blogging. So if you are ready to show up with more ease and less pressure, then you are in the right place.

Now then, first of all, let's just be a little bit honest – because writing blog posts is, well, it's a little bit weird. A little bit weird, really. You know, you sit down with a lovely idea in your heart, maybe something you've chatted about with clients that week, and then the minute you try to write it down, it suddenly sounds…

Well, a bit like you're preparing a PowerPoint presentation. You know, it's like your brain goes, "Oh, we are writing for the public. I'd better go into professional mode." And before you know it, you're writing things like, "It's important to establish appropriate boundaries to protect one's wellbeing."

And you never use the word one in real life. So, you know – what's that all about?

Well, why does this happen? The thing is, first of all, this happens because you are a trained professional. You've spent years learning how to be thoughtful, how to be caring, how to be ethical – and you know, that's a brilliant thing.

But when it comes to blogging, that same careful tone can accidentally feel a little bit stiff – or even worse, it can sound a little bit, kind of, teachery. Like a lecture, really.

And then, you know, there's the visibility thing. Writing a blog can feel really exposing. You're putting your ideas out there, you're putting your voice out there – and so your brain, bless it, tries to protect you by sounding smart and polished and safe and uber professional.

But sometimes that can end up sounding a little bit robotic – and that's when the dreaded therapist voice sneaks in.

So here's the problem: even if what you are saying is completely true, if it feels a little bit like a telling off, your reader is gonna quietly just close the tab and walk away. Not because they don't need help, not because you said something wrong, but just because the tone made them feel maybe a little bit judged, maybe a little bit not seen.

And honestly, I'm not saying this to make you feel bad – it's just such a common problem. It's really easy to do, and I fall into this many, many a time.

So even if the advice that you are giving is solid, even if what you're saying is fantastic, if it lands wrong because it sounds a little bit like it's being delivered from a podium, then it's gonna turn people off.

So just to let you know what I'm talking about, let's have a look at a couple of examples.

So let's say you're writing a post and it's to do with boundaries. Here's the first version. Just tell me what this sounds like to you – to me, this sounds a little bit teachy, a little bit like a lecture.

So this is it:
"It’s important to set boundaries in order to protect your wellbeing. When we say yes to everything, we risk becoming overwhelmed and resentful, and that's why you need to communicate your limits assertively."

Now you might be thinking, "Well, Jane, there's nothing wrong with that."

And that's the point – there's nothing wrong with that. That's absolutely true. But it sounds a little bit like something you'd hear in a workshop handout. It's kind of polite, it's kind of professional, but it's a little bit cold.

So let me give you an example of a warmer version:
"If saying no makes your stomach twist, then you are not alone. Boundaries can be tough, especially if you’ve spent years trying to keep the peace or avoid upsetting anybody. But always saying yes – well, that takes a toll. Learning to say no, or even ‘not right now’, is a skill. And you can learn this one step at a time."

Can you see the difference there? Can you hear the difference between version one and version two?

For me, version two has a completely different feel. The message is basically the same, but the second one sounds like a real-life person is sitting next to you – just talking to you. They're not sitting across from you with a clipboard and a stopwatch. Do you know what I mean?

Let me give you another example so you can sort of see how else I can share this.

So let's say you're writing a blog and it's busting that myth that people only need counselling when they're in crisis. We've all kind of heard this one, haven't we?

So the first version – the more formal version – might be:
"A common misconception is that counselling is only necessary during times of crisis. However, counselling can be beneficial for anyone, regardless of their circumstances."

Now again, there's nothing whatsoever wrong with it – it's helpful. But it sounds a little bit like you're submitting it for a supervision case study or something like that.

So that was version one. Let's have a look at version two, and in this one I'm going to soften it. Just listen to this:
"There’s this idea that counselling is only for people who are falling apart – like you’ve got to be crying in the loo at work or dramatically quitting your job before you’re allowed to get support. But that’s not true. Sometimes people come to counselling because they feel stuck, or they just feel a bit off, or like something’s not quite right but they can’t explain exactly what. And you don’t have to be in crisis to need support – and you definitely don’t have to wait for things to get worse."

Can you hear the difference there between version one – which, like I say, is fine but there’s not a lot of emotion – and version two, where what you're saying is: look, you don’t have to be on your knees to come to counselling.

And that version feels like it’s written by someone who really gets it. Someone who’s been there – or at least won’t judge you if you have. And that’s what your reader needs to hear from you when you write a blog.

So let’s have a think about some different ways to soften your tone without losing your credibility when you're writing a blog.

If you’re thinking to yourself, “Well that’s great, but how do I actually do that? Tell me what practical things I can do” – well, here’s the first one.

This is the most simple thing that you can do – and that is to ask some gentle questions. So you could say things like:
"Have you ever felt like this too?"
Or:
"Does any of this sound familiar?"

Saying just something really simple like that pulls your reader in and helps them feel more included. It’s a lot more friendly, isn’t it? Makes you sound a lot more human.

The other thing – and again, I’m only sharing with you things that are very simple, and I’ve talked about this before – is to write like you talk.

Seriously, if you wouldn’t say it to a friend or a client, don’t write it in a blog. Nobody’s ever been in Tesco and said, "Cultivate emotional resilience." So you shouldn’t do that in a blog either. Only use the sorts of words that you’d just use when chatting.

Something else you could do is tell a story – just a really titchy tiny story. Just a small example. It can be real, or it could be imagined, or it can be an idea that you take from a TV programme.

And by doing this, it just helps people to feel less alone. So something like,
"You know, just a quick… Let’s say you’ve said yes to doing three different things for people this week and now your calendar is starting to look like a game of Tetris."
That is the sort of thing that’s going to help somebody to feel seen.

So if someone’s a people-pleaser, saying yes to everybody, and they recognise that their calendar is starting to get full of doing loads of things for other people – saying something like that is just gonna be enough for them to recognise themselves.

The fourth thing is about saying should. Now you’re a therapist – you’ll know that saying should is not something that you should do… hey!

So instead of saying should – or saying you should do this or you should do that – try some different things instead.

Things like:
"You might find it helpful to..."
Or:
"Some people notice that..."
Or:
"One thing that can help is..."

Use those to start a sentence, rather than saying you should do this. There's less pressure, and more permission there for people.

And then the last thing, number five, is to read out what you’ve written out loud. And when I say out loud, I mean actually out loud, okay?

Now this is my favourite one. This is probably the easiest one. And it might not be the first time you've heard me say this, because this is a real gem.

If you read your blog out loud, you’ll notice the tone – and if it doesn’t quite fit right for you, as in it’s not something that you’d usually ever say, just pull it back. Edit it. Change it until it does sound like you.

Because you want it to sound like you – so if somebody comes to you as a client, they want to hear the sort of thing that you’re saying in the blog.

Does that kind of make sense?

They want to connect with you – not a textbook version of you.

Because the thing is, when it comes to blogging, it’s so much more than words. It’s a first impression for people. And people are going to decide pretty quickly how they’re going to feel about you – whether they can trust you, whether they would feel comfortable sitting with you.

Your blog is going to be the first experience of you – very probably before they've ever booked a call, or filled out a form, or even said your name out loud.

So the question really is: Does your blog sound like someone they’d want to sit with and share their story with?

And so, so importantly, I’d like you to remember – we are not aiming for perfection. That’s not what we’re looking for here at all.

Doesn’t matter if there’s a few grammar mistakes. Doesn’t matter if there’s the occasional typo.

What you’re trying to do is come across as a warm, real, safe human being – someone they’d feel comfortable sitting with and sharing their story with. And that all starts with how you show up on the page.

So look – really, try not to worry about this. If you’ve been writing blog posts for a while, do not worry about this. If you’re thinking of starting to write blog posts again, don’t worry about this.

It’s definitely something we’ve all done. I’ve probably done it myself in this one!

It’s something that happens. But the fix isn’t to just throw it all out – it’s just about learning a little bit more about how to soften your tone, about how to be more you in what you write.

Because that’s what a blog is – it’s just a written conversation.

So I recommend that you ask some more questions. Use your own words. And be a human first – because look, when somebody’s hurting, what they want to feel is understood. Not schooled. They just want somebody to understand them.

Okay, let’s just have a quick recap of what we’ve talked about today.

So if your blog has started to sound a little bit like a lecture, it’s probably because you’re stuck in your therapist voice – and that’s because you’re trying to keep yourself safe. It’s totally normal. And it’s totally fixable, as well – so do not panic.

If you do have a bit of a preachy tone – even if what you say is absolute gold and brilliant advice – it can push readers away. Not because you’re wrong, but because it just doesn’t feel so good to read.

And the fix, really, is to make sure that you use your real voice. Ask gentle questions. Tell a quick story. Soften your shoulds.

And for the love of all things human – please, read it out loud before you hit publish. It’s going to make such a difference to how you sound.

Because your blog isn’t about proving that you’re the best counsellor around – it’s about helping people to feel that you’re the right counsellor for them.

Okay – so I’ve got loads of ways that I can help you, wherever you are in your private practice journey. So check out my Start Here page and see what’s available for you.

Go to janetravis.co.uk/starthere, and that includes all of my paid and free resources as well.

And yeah, that’s all for today. If this episode has helped you, I’d absolutely love it if you’d leave me a quick review – and maybe share it with another therapist who’s tired of sounding like a robot online.

If you’ve got something worth saying, let’s help you say it in a way people actually want to read.

So until next time. Write like you talk. And trust that it’s enough.

Okay, take care. Speak soon. Bye.